Cheers! Alcohol and Young Women in Their 20s

Part 2 of the ‘Women & Alcohol: A Life in Balance’ series

When you’re in your twenties, it often feels like the world is your oyster — or at least the party is. Alcohol seems to be everywhere, from after-work drinks to weekend celebrations to casual catch-ups that somehow always end with a glass (or two) of something. It’s all part of this big, exhilarating package called adulthood. But here’s the thing — while it’s easy to toast to freedom, it’s worth pausing to check in on how alcohol fits into your life, especially as a young woman.

There’s no denying it: for many of us, drinking feels like a symbol of “I’m grown-up now.” It’s about letting loose, making new friends and sometimes just fitting in. But underneath those clinks of glasses and laughs, there’s a quieter story about the pressure to keep up, to say yes even when you’re not sure you want to.

I remember thinking that if I didn’t join the round of shots or the late-night party, I’d miss out — or worse, be left out. It’s a weird mix of wanting to be one of the crowd and wanting to be a unique individual, all whilst figuring out your own boundaries. Drinking is a badge of independence, and it seems harmless at the time. Well, mostly. I was very lucky. My drinking experiences were generally positive, I had good friends and a good job so I wasn’t able to drink on weeknights, saving it all up for a weekend of clubbing til the early hours (clubs closed at 1am in my day!), me and the gals dancing round our handbags to Human League hits and drinking pina coladas like they were going out of fashion, which of course, they were.

Social pressure doesn’t magically disappear after the teenage years. It just gets more subtle. There’s the fear of missing out, the awkwardness of being ‘the sober one,’ and the complicated dance of dating where alcohol often plays a starring role. And to be honest — the whole ‘everyone’s doing it’ vibe can make it tough to say no without feeling like you’re the odd one out. And this was decades before the term ‘sober-shaming’ was coined.

Physically, you can probably still look great and glowing after a skinful and two hours’ sleep in your twenties. But over time, the cumulative effects start to kick in. Your tolerance increases so you drink more to get to that sweet spot, you make bad choices, shrug and blame it on the booze. What’s more, drinking too much can mess with your mental health, your career focus and your safety — all things that suddenly feel a lot more real when you’re juggling adult life.

Here’s another thing they don’t tell you about alcohol: your physical and psychological response to it changes throughout your menstrual cycle. Cravings for alcohol increase during the two weeks after menstruating (that’s your follicular phase, in case you were wondering – see they don’t tell us this sort of stuff, either) and drinking is more pleasurable due to increased oestrogen in your body. But the cramps, irritability and sugar cravings that come with the luteal phase (that bit before your period, when your hormone levels start to drop) can also lead to self-medicating with alcohol. It’s not a great cycle to find yourself in and over the longer term, it’s habit forming and drinking can actually increase menstrual pains and anxiety and low mood. Spoiler alert: there is more to come about alcohol’s impact on pesky hormones in future blogs.

The good news? You don’t have to follow the crowd. Finding your own rhythm with alcohol is a powerful act of self-care. Maybe that means choosing the nights you really want to drink, saying no more often or even exploring fun social options without alcohol. Trust me, it’s totally possible and worth it. I’m not here to preach, I’m not anti-alcohol and I know that for many, many women alcohol plays a positive role in their lives. But of course, I’ve also seen the flipside.

In hindsight, I wish I’d paused earlier to consider, “Am I drinking because I want to — or because I feel I have to?” That little question can make all the difference. I’ve no doubt that those endless nights with my best mates talking crap and believing we had the world at our feet one minute only to be riddled with indecision and anxiety the next, would have been possible without alcohol and probably more memorable too. Literally. But I do also recall times where alcohol made the event, and we made memories that lasted. This is the thing about alcohol, it’s complicated.

If you’re feeling caught in the middle of wanting to enjoy your twenties and wanting to keep your health and sanity intact, you’re not alone. And you absolutely get to write your own rules.

What’s Next

Expecting Clarity: Alcohol, Fertility and Pregnancy. A look at what to consider when you’re planning a family