Rising High or Falling Fast? Female Executives and Alcohol

Part 5 of the ‘Women & Alcohol: A Life in Balance’ series

Climbing the career ladder as a woman? Yeah, it’s not exactly a stroll in the park. It’s more like a high-wire act while juggling flaming torches—except the torches are emails, meetings, family demands and that persistent inner voice telling you to keep up and prove yourself.

So, when the day finally ends, it’s no shocker that many women in leadership reach for that evening glass of wine or an after-work cocktail. It feels like a well-earned reward, a way to relax, or even a social glue that helps navigate networking events. But what happens when that ‘glass of wine’ starts feeling less like a choice and more like a necessity?

Being a female executive or high-flyer comes with some serious weight. There’s pressure to excel professionally and exude at all times an insouciant air of “I’ve got this”, no matter how overworked, underappreciated and chronically stressed you are. All the time navigating the challenges of networking, client dinners and social events where drinking is basically a given, in workplaces that often still feel like ‘the boys’ club’. And when the work day is over there are the demands of family responsibilities to look forward to at home. In this context, alcohol can seem like a quick fix — a socially accepted way to unwind, celebrate wins, or just fit in. At least, that was the case until COVID-19 hit, and then things really started to go pear-shaped.

In 2021 I conducted some research (a scoping review of the links between alcohol consumption changes and mental health in UK adults, as you’re asking) and found that women, particularly those with managerial or director roles, were at most risk of both worsening mental health and increased alcohol consumption. Not surprising, really. Alongside that whole global pandemic thing, women were likely to be caring for vulnerable relatives, home schooling children and still keeping it together in the boardroom, or at least the spare bedroom-stroke-temporary office.

Since then, alcohol recovery services report a change in the demographic of their clients, with more women accessing support. But that’s probably just the tip of the iceberg as women all over the country battle on striving for perfection during the working day and holding out for something to take the edge off after dark. Now that things have returned more or less to normal, many smart, confident, successful women haven’t managed to return to pre-lockdown levels of drinking. Factor in happy hours, team celebrations, business dinners — drinking is woven into the fabric of corporate life. But for many women, even if they’d rather cut down, saying no to a drink feels like walking a social tightrope. You might worry about being labelled ‘boring’ or ‘difficult’, missing out on important bonding or career-building moments (hello, those casual chats where deals get made!) or just standing out awkwardly when everyone else is sipping cocktails.

This social pressure isn’t just annoying; it’s isolating and discriminatory. The term sober-shaming really sums up an unpleasant trend of baiting the non-drinker. So if you’re choosing sobriety or moderation, you might find yourself excluded from after-hours plans or informal conversations that matter. It’s like being invited to the party but not quite getting through the door. As a gender, we get that quite a lot, don’t we? So, opting out of alcohol — whether for health reasons, personal preference, or recovery — can come with its own set of challenges. Many’s the time I’ve felt the need to explain and defend my choice to fend off intrusive questions because apparently sobriety is suspicious.

I rarely bother to defend my decision not to drink these days. I’m older, wiser and more secure about my choices. I’ve found that not giving a reason, just smiling and saying an assertive “No thanks” does the trick. What’s more, sticking to your boundaries can be an act of quiet leadership. You’re showing that success, confidence and connection don’t have to come with a drink in hand.

Fortunately, there are plenty of sober curious and alcohol-free groups just for women, including the fabulous Sober Girl Society for those who want an alcohol-free get together and the equally amazing Soberistas, a supportive community of sober fun-loving women.

If you’re thinking of ditching the booze, here’s a reminder of what you’d be giving up.

Reduced mental clarity that can affect your decision-making over time (not great when you’re managing big projects or teams); low energy and disrupted sleep — and if you need to be sharp, sleep is non-negotiable; increased anxiety and stress in the long run, ironically making the pressure worse; putting your physical health at risk, including your liver, heart and everything else actually, and the risk a detrimental effect on our professional reputation if your drinking becomes noticeable or problematic.

But you don’t have to choose between drink to fit in or miss out completely. There are ways to create a healthier relationship with alcohol while navigating your busy life. As more and more workplaces take wellbeing seriously, opportunities for work endorsed stress management tools, such as mindfulness, exercise or therapy are starting to blossom. Social activities don’t need to revolve around alcohol - coffee meet-ups, lunch dates and wellness classes are finally starting to take the place of pub lunches and after work drinks.

I’ve met some amazing women in my line of work who’ve not only taken on workplace alcohol culture but come out on top, changing practices in even the most hard-headed of industries such as banking, insurance and construction. The more we talk openly about alcohol in high-pressure careers—and the unique challenges women face—the more we can shift the culture. Imagine workplaces where it’s totally fine to skip the wine and still be invited to the party (literally and figuratively). Supporting each other means breaking down stigma, recognizing different ways of coping, and celebrating authenticity over conformity.

What’s next

Part six of the series tackles a contentious and difficult topic. In The Blame Game: Women, Alcohol and Sexual Assault, I talk about the role of alcohol in victim-blaming and why we need to reclaim the narrative.

[1] Institute of Alcohol Studies, 2017, Like Sugar For Adults